Witnessing Transformation

In distinguishing spiritual direction from counseling, my first spiritual director said, “In counseling most of the discovery occurs in the hour together. In spiritual direction there may be times it seems like very little takes place in our session, but somehow, in the days and weeks between meetings an awful lot seems to happen.” In sharing with another about our relationship with God, our deep questions about life, our struggle from day-to-day, or our deep doubts and fears, the other becomes a witness to our life. Having someone who sees and hears us as we are without judgment is in itself transformative.

Contemplatives and Enneagram teachers alike assure us that the real work of transformation is in being aware, in coming to see ourselves more and more as we truly are. When we can watch our habits of thinking and reacting without judging or trying to change them, the more choices we will have to actually think and behave differently. We get better at what we practice. We have years of practice doing what we do unconsciously. If we want to do anything else, we must first be aware of what is unconscious and then practice making other choices when possible.

Many people have a spiritual director or companion, a spiritual friend, or a group where they can be honest about things that matter without anyone trying to fix or change them. In such a relationship there is a sense of being accountable to another for our intentions to pay attention and begin to live into new freedom in positive ways. This non-judgmental witnessing is one reason 12-step groups work so well.

In the group accompanying one another through Lent beginning on February 17 (there is still room!) we will witness and hold one another’s intention to release something in order to create more space for God in our lives, or to take on a new practice (or both). In the same way that exercising in a group helps us keep our focus and brings greater success, walking through Lent more intentionally brings great benefits for all of us.

As a Quaker, I never learned the deprivations associated with Lent, the giving up chocolate or something you enjoy. While I hold to the Quaker assertion that we can experience Good Friday or Easter any day of the year, I also appreciate the rhythm of moving into spring where we seem naturally to want to shed old things and begin new ones.

However it happens for us, the world needs all of us to step into new ways of thinking and of seeing one another. Awareness of and attention to what is bring that newness, and we can be midwives for one another as we witness the intention.